31 December 2013

Last day of this year. Arbitrary for some and significant for others. I am somewhere in the middle. Thankfulness knows no such thing as days or years so…

1) A warm place to sleep. I’m sure this year has been truly rough for some families. There are people out there on the streets now that aren’t celebrating New Year’s Eve but are instead trying to find a warm and safe place to rest.
2) Sacrifice. At this moment it’s hard not to think about the year. I made lots of sacrifices to try and make my relationship work and it failed. I made sacrifices also when I decided to end it. Only I really know what those sacrifices are and only I can turn them into lessons. I am thankful for the OPPORTUNITY to learn from my sacrifice.
3) Cable. Surely shallow. Obviously not a necessity. However I appreciate being able to let my mind go into other places by vegging out in front of the TV.

I hope everyone has a fabulous time tonight and stay safe.

28 December 2013

Beautiful morning for a walk in the park.


1. European Starlings. Common bird for these parts. Ever since my environmental science class in high school I’ve had an eye and ear for these birds. They remind me that I’m still on the same planet and still moving forward.

2. Coffee. I enjoy it so much more when it’s from Wawa as opposed to any other place. Perfect refreshment for the winter wanderer.
3. G2V. It always gives me a good feeling when I think about how the light hitting my face was emitted from the sun 8 minutes ago. I have little tiny alien photon space travelers smashing into my beard. Reminds me of Carl Sagan. We are stardust.

26 December 2013

Great relaxing day after Xmas.

  1. My imagination. Had some great daydreams today. I envisioned what this next year will bring. I have to imagine it first before I can pursue it.
  2. Simplicity.  My new apartment has very little furniture but I did buy a fancy camping chair that reclines. So I spent a few hours reclining and watching some movies on my laptop. The simple small things in life are the best.
  3. Emma Stone. My god she is so beautiful. That is all. 🙂

25 December 2013

Happy Holidays! Few things that I am thankful for today.

  1. My brothers. Last night I stayed at my moms house so I could get an early start on making breakfast this morning. I ended up staying up late watching some TV. My younger brother Alex came home and urged me to change the TV from a documentary on lions to Family Guy. He then proceeded to bring in some graham crackers and a big ass glass of milk. I of course was envious and retrieved my own set of crackers and milk. And there we sat. Eating graham crackers and milk watching cartoons. I realized that we had most likely done this many times before in our lives. I was so thankful for that moment. Very simple but very valuable as well. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Nate was there to join us. Luckily I get to spend the day with both of them today.
  2. Good neighbors. Last night my moms neighbor from across the street brought us some cookies. They also have children our age, and now plenty of grand children. It warms my heart to know that there are still good people out there who are willing to interact and be “neighborly” 🙂 I wish them the very best of holidays and I hope it is filled with only love.
  3. A sense of order. I appreciate the fact that I live the kind of life where I want things to be in their place. I’m going to clean up my moms house before breakfast and it’s going to be so therapeutic. We will eat and enjoy each others company in a place of order.

Happy Holidays!

23 December 2013

Welcome to you and to myself. I have a feeling that this is something I should have done many many years ago. At the suggestion of a friend who also looks at the world through skeptical eyes I will begin. Thanks Natalya.

  1. Life. I am aware of my existence. I look outside right now and I am aware that it is is raining because I can see it, and my brain can categorize that sight as an observation. My observation then leads to thought. That thought can now take me to an infinite number of conclusions if choose to do so. I am alive and well, which when I think about it in this sense,  has a much more deeply rooted meaning.
  2. My heart. Recently ending my long-term relationship was not something I planned on doing but HAD TO DO. My sanity was imminently at stake, and furthermore my happiness was going to be the victim. So I left. However, to my surprise I am handling it pretty well. I don’t feel sorry for myself or anyone else. My heart didn’t stop beating and neither did my ex-girlfriends. My heart does not carry emotions or flighty perspectives on my experience. My brain does that. My heart just keeps on beating without being influenced by the emotional fortitude of my brain. I’m thankful for that.
  3. My family through Facebook. I’m not afraid to admit it. I love Facebook. Since most of my family is spread across the country, Facebook allows me to experience their lives every day. All of my family members serve as beacons to my existence. I would not be who I am without them and they will never know the extent to which they have influenced me to be a better man. I cherish every moment I have with them, and I would not substitute their existence for anything known (or unknown) in this universe.